Sub-Urban Artist wrote:
I agree, Sweet. It's not something you can honestly do when you're young. There's a lot of issues you'd have to work out, issues that a young teen would have a lot of trouble coping with.
Oh, and I saw this before, but I didn't comment on it: It's not right to have an online partner AND a face-to-face partner. Pick ONE. I mean, you wouldn't date two kids from your school at the same time, right? It's no different if the other person lives far away. So unless the online person is aware of your present gf/bf, and is okay with it, choose who you're gonna be with. You could really hurt someone by leading two people on...
yeah i agree. and for the record, im NOT dating someone on the internet or dating 2 at the same time, if thats what you guys are thinking!
Sub-Urban Artist wrote:
Believe it or not, in some cases, online relationships are MORE honest than face-to-face ones. If both parties are being truthful with each other (and not making up stuff to look cool), it's much easier to express feelings through messages, rather than in person. I mean, if my RMD friends met me in New jersey first, they'd never have talked to me. It's not that I'm a different person out there than on here, it's that social stigmas dictate how we act much more in real life. Those stigmas are absent online.
And two months...eh, yeah, that's kinda short. Well, it depends: did you know them longer than two months? How long did it take for you to think you love this person? If you've been together two months, but have known each other for a year or something, then that's ttly possible.
eh?? that is so not true. only someone who sits in front of his computer all day would say something lyk that :p if you haven't realize yet, who you are in real life is who u really are only pressure can bring out the real real you. that element is just not present when ur talking through the internet. there's a tendency to be insincere even when u don't realize
Last edited by atenean (27 Mar, 2009 2:56 am)
Dating a person internet and off is a delicate situation. It could lead to some serious heartbreak, if both partners were serious about you.
Also, I think it's a lot 'easier' to be who I really am on the internet, because if this person doesn't like me, I can just block or ignore the person. In real life? Well, I rather not be named called by a person who automatically judged me. It's easier because it's not face to face, and like the things I say now, my mother would be surprised(or completely horrified). It's a choice to be insincere, and a risk you might have to take.
XD It's all up to the person, though.
Atenean, do you know ANYTHING about psychology? If a kid smokes up for the first time due to peer pressure, does that mean it was his character to smoke? No, it's an outside element, not YOU. If all your friends are doing something you don't particularly enjoy, you're probably gonna end up doing it anway, and you'll pretend to like it, too. Fear of judgment doesn't make us who we are, it makes us LIE to ourselves and others about who we are. The Internet, like graffiti and voting, is anonymous. It's only in the vacuum that is anonymity that we can be ourselves, completely without fear of outside influence. The Internet is an escape, true, but you only escape to be free, right?
i totally agree with sub,
when on the internet you can be who your TRUELY are,
with out the fear of being judged,
coz in reality everyone follows along to some extent, to fit in and feel
a sense of belonging., but on the net, if someone thinks your a loser then you can eaisly just not talk to them anymore.
but in reality, if some one doent like you for who you really are, or you say what you really think, to them, then you will have to see them everyday, and can't avoid it,, so it would b difficult..
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being a smoker is a superficial trait. it can be easily manipulated. but the fact that he gave in shows that the person is weak. that weakness tells more about the person than the mere fact of being a smoker.. sorry if u don't understand that.
But weakness under pressure doesn't make you WHO YOU ARE, don't you understand that? The person who is manipulated isn't trying to be, they don't WANT to be pressured. Character traits are different from emotional ones, after all. For instance, I can actually talk about my REAL interests and my REAL emotions here, because you can't see me to judge me. I'm almost 19, am overweight. tall, unattractive, with long hair and a bushy beard. People instantly judge me, whether they know it or not. I'm either the scary guy that you avoid, the druggie who will never amount to anything (never done drugs), or the closet rapist (as one 'friend' kindly pointed out). Then, if someone gets close enough to actually KNOW me, an art student who writes children's books, tends a garden of herbs and flowers, cooks, loves children, and even sews, then suddenly I'm ***. I can't escape judgment, no matter where i am. But here, I can say that I enjoy these things. I can Say what I want to say, the way I would say it in the real world if people only understood. I can be me here.
storm painter wrote:
yeah im not lookin for love on the internet, im lookin for love at me school. there are some HOT guys, so im tryin to get to know them. *sighs*
Yeah...I know how u feel.
There are some cute guys at skool, but I don't really have the guts.
Plus some of my friends n other people like the same guy I like...
How do u actually know when someone is crushing on u or like u?
it's a matter of perspective if you ask me. when a person is in a classroom. he could think that he is not free to shout at the teacher or do the things that are against the school's rules and regulations. but the truth is he is really free to do anything. it's just that he is afraid of the consequences and that makes him think that he is not free.
you don't have to manipulate ur surrounding to be free to be urself. you have the freedom to be urself given the limitations of ur surrounding. and since the real world won't adjust to anyone, the real you is supposed to be based on that reality. u have problems with ur appearance and you think that is a very big problem-u let it get into u. that's ur choice. that's the principle that embody who u are. and that principle usually contributes more to the deciding factor when entering into a relationship. you won't love someone just because he/she likes to cook or loves children. well i know i wouldn't o.O
Last edited by atenean (27 Mar, 2009 5:57 am)
True, we CAN do whatever we want, whenever we want. It IS possible. However, social norms dictate to our conscious minds what IS and ISN'T appropriate, and conditioned thinking, through punishment and reward, makes it so we FEEL like we have no freedoms. With that, you're right.
But what you're not comprehending is that the fear of reprimand only masks our true selves, it doesn't mold it. If I wanted to run around outside in a frilly pink dress right now, I could. I'm ttly capable of doing that physically. But I know that I will be judged by my actions, and it's generally frowned upon, so I refrain from donning said dress. Would that make the want go away? No, because that would be my true self. It's the same for everything else. In the vacuum of the Internet, we all become our basic elements.
I love mine. I plan to meet her, i plan to be with her. we're still together for over a year, we've met for almost two years. Yet I do love her still. I May escape reality, but it's my dream. Name me pathetic, but it's where I find my love.
It depends on who you are.
Still, when you say that on on another forum where ppl don't know its an inside joke, it sounds disgusting and disturbing.
Hey, murders no walk in the park, either, but I'm sure you don't find it outrageous when someone, say, claims their mom is going to kill them if they fail a test. Bumpz knows how unfunny sexual assault is, trust me. It's just, as she said, a joke. Welcome to the internet counter-culture, where the worse something is, the easier it is to joke about.